流離三萬里 |
THIRTY-THOUSNAD-MILES OF EXILE |
This installation is at the heart of my PhD thesis. I see my practice-based project as an opportunity to achieve a balance between research and practice.
In my project, I consider not only the making and substance of the artworks themselves, but also the space in which they exist. For me the exhibition is an entirety. I am interested in occupying the space beyond the conventional exhibition space, creating spaces in which the viewer moves and experiences the feeling of exile, memory and loss. The installation sets the photographic work within a context of a metaphorical journey, a trajectory from an empty room through space to a sequence of galleries presenting themes of anxiety and loss, within the context of the imagined return. The photographic works are the main point in this installation. The diptych form in the photographic works is used to provide opportunities of separate locations joined in the overlapping self-portraits, giving the possibility of a visual comparison between two confronting images, and also, using the diptych to connect to the family, childhood and homeland. |
「流離三萬里」展場照片
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PHOTOGRAPHS of "THIRTY-THOUSAND-MILES OF EXILE" EXHIBITION
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父親 |
Father |
我有一頭相當長的頭髮。
父親仍然站在我背後一樣距離的地方嗎? 在我於1997年所攝的照片之處, 我2001年又拿著相機回到此處與我的家人合照。 不斷按下的快門聲,彷彿在吟唱一般。 我的家庭新成員與我原生家庭會面, 新,舊。 我剛出生的兒子給我新生命,也提醒我父親的死亡。 生與死像是個迴圈, 而現在我同時體會。 |
I have such long hair.
Does father still stand behind me in the same position? In front of the photograph which I took in 1997, I re-photographed this image with my family in 2001. I took photographs again and again, like the act of chanting. My new family meet with my old family, New and old. My newborn son gives me new life, but also reminds me my father died. Life and death are like a circle. Now, I meet them at the same time. |
這五個攝影作品同屬一個系列作。這五個雙聯畫攝影作品的左手邊都是同一張照片,是我在我父親過世前一年1997年拍攝,呈現的是我父親與我在蘇澳老家家門前的樣子。五個放在雙連照右手邊的照片拍攝地點和視角與左邊相同,但是在照片裡面我站在畫面的左手邊。我分別與我空蕩蕩的老家、我母親、我兩個月的兒子、我新組成的家庭成員們(我妻子與我的兒子)、我父親的遺照合照。
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This is a sequence of five photographic works.
The left-hand side of these five diptychs is the same. It is an old family photograph of my father and me in front of our home in Su-Ao, Taiwan in 1997, one year before my father’s death in 1998. The five right-hand side photographs in these five diptychs were taken in the same place, and from the same viewpoint, but I stand on the left hand side in the image instead of my father. I stood with, the empty home; my mother; my two-month-old son; my new family, including my wife and son; and with my father’s memorial portrait. These photographs were taken in 2001, three years after my father died. |
我於2001年,我父親離世後第三年,拍攝這些照片。我為了紀念對我生命中影響最深的我父親,創作這個藝術作品。擔心他成為我在外國時悶悶不樂的主因。我永遠無法忘記我父親是在我國外的時候離開我,而我為我無法回去照顧我父親感到罪惡。 我還記得那段期間出家眾的誦經聲一直在我家迴盪,讓我稍微輕鬆一點渡過這麼難捱的時間。持續不斷的誦經聲是循環的,沒有開始也沒有結束。佛經的吟唱聲讓我理解死亡只是生命的一個過程而我們終究要放下。每個人自然而然都會面臨死亡,然而就是死者對生者太熟悉太親密,讓我們忘卻生命還有其他重要的意義。我父親的永遠離開已成事實並且無法補救即使我一再想像那個可能性(回到他還在世的時候)。[2] 生命,就像相片右邊,持續在變動,但是死亡,像相片左手邊,不再改變了。對我來說,死亡就像一潭死水,你不能從中期待任何回應。就像宇宙中的黑洞,無從獲得任何回應或回音。在我第一眼見到我新生的兒子的當下,奇蹟發生了。我從沒有想像過他帶給我這麼大的衝擊。在他出世之時,我父親的死對我已經有了不同的意義。如今我視生死為一個循環。這是自然現象持續不停地發生,有生命消逝有生命誕生。這是個轉捩點,讓我體會生命的意義:生命是延續的也不停止的。這個轉變成為我對我父親的贖罪。翻拍自小說的電影《阿普三部曲》。在三部電影中,阿普經歷家族重要親人,姊姊、父親、母親、而後妻子的死亡。在這之後,他像個流浪者,失去對人生的方向並切斷跟世界的連結。然,在最後一部曲,他與他的兒子相遇,並找到方法繼續往前。對我而言,死亡像是停止不運轉的鐘。而我兒子的新生打破這時間的中斷並且重新走下去(事實上,時間並沒有停止,但是我使自己困在時間當中)。死亡的事實不會改變,但我看事物的觀點不同並且變得更樂觀。我期待未來而非耽溺在過去的死水裡,因為生命繼續走而且不再回復。 按照中國傳統,不孝有三無後為大。對我雙親來說在他們過世之前知道有子孫延續香火是最高興的事。在作品中,透過我的編排三個世代相遇像是一個大家族。我很滿意我想像的家族團圓。不過我父親僅在夢中並未在現實中與我兒子相見。
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“Tree wants to rest but the wind does not stop; Children want to take care but the parents do not wait any more”.[1]
This artwork is a memento designed for my father, the most influential man in my life. Worrying about him is the main reason I feel so melancholic during my exile. I will never forget my father passed away during this time. I felt guilty because I could not return home to take care of him. I still remember when my father died and the Buddhist chanting in my house. It made me feel easier during the passage of that difficult time. The constant chanting is circular and has no beginning and no end . The chanting let me understand that death is just a part of life and there is a need to let go. It is natural for everyone to face death. However, because the dead are too close to us, we forget the meaning of life. When we see our life is only on the point of death, it is a split from the real life and time is difficult to pass. The fact of my father’s death has never changed (I wanted him alive) even if I have faced it for a thousand times. “Life, as in the photographs on the right, keeps changing, but death, like the photographs on the left, is fixed. For me, death is like the water in a dead pond, and you do not expect any response from there. It is like a Black Hole in the Universe, no reflection and echo from it”.[2] When I met my newborn son a miracle happened. I never expected him to have such a powerful impact. When he came to the world, my father’s death had a different meaning for me. I now see life and death as a circle. It is nature, some people die and others are born, continually. This was a transition, allowing me to understand the real meaning of life; that life is constant and never stops. After this transformation, I felt redemption for my father’s death. Related to this life concept, the film The Apu Trilogy by Indian director Satyajit Ray is a good example. In the three films, Apu faced the deaths of his family, his sister, father, mother, and wife.[3] After that, he behaved as a wanderer, losing direction in his life and cutting his connections with the world. Then, at the end of the last film, he meets his son and eventually finds a way to go forward. For myself, death seems like a stopped clock. My son’s new life broke the suspension of time and set it moving again (In reality, time did not stop, but I had the feeling of being stuck in time). The fact of death did not change, but my point of view on the subject is different and more positive. I am looking forward to seeing the future rather than lingering in dead pond water. Life keeps going and never comes back again. Moreover, in the light of Chinese tradition, a dutiful son has to breed the next generation. The happiest thing for parents is that they have had many descendants before they die. In this work, through my arrangement three generations meet together as a big family. I was satisfied with my imagined family get-together. However, my father only met my son in a dream, never in reality. [1] This is a Chinese proverb ‘樹欲靜而風不止,子欲養而親不待’, translated by the authorMing-Chang Tien. [2] Ming-Chang Tien. Thirty-Thousand-Miles of Exile: a working diary. Unpublished. July. 2004. [3] The Apu Trilogy (1955) consists of three great films about an exile’s journey and redemption. |
「父親」攝影作品 |
"FATHER" PHOTOGRAPHS |
照片/ 9.5*28 公分 (含框30*50*4 公分) / 2001-2004
Photo / 9.5*28 cm (with frame 30*50*4 cm) / 2001-2004
Photo / 9.5*28 cm (with frame 30*50*4 cm) / 2001-2004
Mother and me as a Christmas tree |
We stood out of the home.
She was looking back at me. Was I still behind her? I have travelled for too long and too far. I am so tired. I can’t stand any more, after my mum’s gaze. |
The diptych is the only example of my artwork in which both images are taken in the United Kingdom. One photograph is an abandoned Christmas tree lying down in front of my small flat in London after Christmas. The other is my mother visiting the British Museum and standing in front of a Japanese lantern before she left the United Kingdom.
When my Mother came to take care of my newborn son in 2001, she was, like me, an outsider. She could not speak English and was not interested in travelling. She was frustrated by living abroad, because she could not adjust to fit into her new life. Thus, I felt sorry for her. I never feel happy when Christmas comes and one day when I saw this tree, it encapsulated my feelings. |
As a Taiwanese who has a Chinese cultural background, family is always the priority in my life. As an exile, my anxiety is that I cannot return to my home to take care of my parents. I want to draw attention to my mother. After my father died, she lived alone and I was really worried about her when I decided to study abroad.
This work is a further direct response to the issue of exile. The gap between two face-to-face photographs symbolized the real distance between my mother and me. The background to the photograph of my mother is a Japanese lantern, which contrasts with the Christmas tree to highlight the distance between East and West. Mother gazes back at me. I, like the abandoned Christmas tree, cannot look back. Despair and yearning exist in the space between the photographs. Furthermore, the cutting of roots has a symbolic meaning for me as an exile. The first time I saw a Christmas tree outside someone’s home was very emotional and touched my heart. Like me, the pitiful tree appears useless and abandoned. These are exactly my feelings about Christmas, because the celebration is not for me. I am like the severed discarded tree, a rootless exile. My mother was also away from her home at that time. So both of us are outsiders. In the images, my mother is standing vulnerably outside the railing in front of the Japanese lantern. I am outside my home, lying in front of the fence. |
「Mother and me as a Christmas tree」 PHOTOGRAPHS |
照片/ 75*75 公分 (含框82*82*6 公分) (2件) / 2001
Photo / 75*75 cm (with frame 82*82*6 cm) (2 pieces) / 2001
Photo / 75*75 cm (with frame 82*82*6 cm) (2 pieces) / 2001
1997 |
So strange a feeling, when I came back to the places.
Some have totally disappeared; some have become ruined, Some are similar. They have changed without me, I changed also without them. I wonder what happened in the place and in me between these two points in time, 1997 and 2001. The jump time. So strange a feeling, when I came back to the places. Some have totally disappeared; some have become ruined, Some are similar. They have changed without me, I changed also without them. I wonder what happened in the place and in me between these two points in time, 1997 and 2001. The jump time. |
This work is a re-photography project. I took photographic self-portraits in Taiwan in 1997 and then returned to re-take photographs in the same location in 2001. Afterwards, I put them together as diptychs. The work contains twelve diptychs with self-portraits, showing only locations of cities in which I have lived. In each image, I have selected an example of some man-made constructions from my personal places. Comparing the two images in each diptych, some of these constructions have changed a little but some are now totally different.
When I moved to the United Kingdom in 2000, I missed Taiwan very much. The photographs, which I took in 1997 and kept with me, became a reminder of Taiwan. When I had the opportunity to return, I wanted to revisit all of the places in my works and memory, to take photographs again. |
“When I went home I used to walk through the familiar places as routine, my primary school, the nursery, the old market, the riverside, seaside, and the temple. And now I added one more place, my father’s cemetery. It was like a ritual that I took time to walk from one place to another.
On this ritual journey I could see many everyday places where I used to play in my childhood. I always liked to visit them as my old friends. I just sat down to watch them quietly and think about my past. At that moment, my feelings jumped out of my busy working life to enter a space-time in the past. My mind flashed back to my childhood. Suddenly I was aware I was not a whole person because I had found another self, my childhood, apart from me. This personal experience has stayed with me as a ‘memory box’ for a very long time”.[1] In relation to my concept, changes in personal places are more important than those in public spaces, because they are my private memories of my homeland which established a real sense of Taiwan for me. The concept of home comes not from textbook or story, but from my experience. Therefore, places which are personal - around my hometown, the city where I studied, and the city in which I worked - as the twelve places in the photographic work, are all meaningful for me, and this formed a personal identity of ‘home’. When I looked at the buildings, both in the photographs and in reality, the differences between them were odd and surreal. Consciously I know that time has altered everything, but I cannot accept this. Changes to my homeland have affected me greatly. I am afraid that they are going to disappear in the fast changing world, especially without my witnessing them. I feel lost, anxious and insecure about such matters during my exile. [1] Ming-Chang Tien. Thirty-Thousand-Miles of Exile: an autobiography. (Unpublished. Nov. 2003). |
照片/ 30*9.5 公分 (含框40*20*7 公分) (12件) / 1997-2001
Photo / 30*9.5 cm (with frame 40*20*7 cm) (12 pieces) / 1997-2001
Photo / 30*9.5 cm (with frame 40*20*7 cm) (12 pieces) / 1997-2001
三萬里 |
Thirty-Thousnad-Miles |
我孤立地站在兩個建築前,
像要藉由它們來回憶。 我的流離介於兩個土地之間, 現在的家與老家, 我靜漠地哀悼, 記憶試著填補縫隙, 但如同一位流離者, 被分離兩地的縫隙卻永遠不曾消失。 |
I stand isolated in front of the two buildings.
I seem to recall and sympathise with the buildings. My exile is being held between two lands, the present land and the homeland. There is a stillness of condolence. Memory tries to bridge the gap. But as exile, the gap has never vanished. |
For the five photographic works I have collected evocative images of old buildings in the United Kingdom, each associated with a specific building in Taiwan. I visited each pair of buildings and have taken self-portrait photographs in front of them. Afterwards, I took the pairs of photographs and joined them together at one edge to make a diptych. On the junction I overlaid a life-size self-portrait.
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照片/ 260*82*15 公分 (5件) / 2001
Photo / 260*82*15 cm (5 pieces) / 2001
Photo / 260*82*15 cm (5 pieces) / 2001
Childhood
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We used to live together in our home.
We used to play together. We used to be so close. Now, We live in different places. We play with other friends. We are separated by the outside world. As an exile, living for long period of time out of my hometown, I gradually forget my childhood. I am so afraid of losing my childhood permanently. It is my past, the first part of my life. I want to trace back my life to link the present and past in my imagination. Bitter and sweet |
This project involved re-taking photographs of the same people as appear in an old family picture. On the right hand side of the diptych is an old family photograph, one of only three I possess. I stand in front of my home with my brother and sister. This photograph was taken around 1980, when I was about 15 years old, by my cousin-in-law who had a manual camera. I brought this photograph with me when I came to the United Kingdom. The people on the left-hand side of the diptych are the same as those in the old photograph. I stood on the right hand side in the image with my siblings. This photograph was taken in a restaurant in Taipei after a family meal in 2001. It was a rare opportunity for us to be together because for more than fifteen years we have all lived in different places.
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「童年」攝影作品
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"Childhood" PHOTOGRAPHS |
照片/ 350*290*30 公分 / 1980和2001
Photo / 350*290*30 cm/ 1980 and 2001
Photo / 350*290*30 cm/ 1980 and 2001